Dove la More

My Sunday morning ritual should include church or something spiritual, but I go to Lori's church... 9am step class. This class is tough because it is at 9am, takes a while to wake up and get moving. Class was fun and Lori chose a song just for me... "Dove la More" isn't she sweet? Lori WAS very sweet, until she yelled at me after class. Step class works like this... 6 or so songs then the last song is for ab work. The ab track usually contains a billion crunches, push-ups... etc. Well, when we get to abs, I usually just relax on my mat... and skip the ab work or do about 25%. First of all I hate abs and don't really have a core so what does it matter? Second of all, after giving everything I have to stepping... I don't have any energy left for abs. Third of all, it is a way for me to be rebellious. I was wondering how long I would get away with skipping abs... well let's just say I had a good run! After class Lori yelled at me saying "the mat is NOT for resting and do those push-ups!" I just hate push-ups.

Tonight's step class was great, as usual... Lori was on, her crazy self, singing to the songs while all of us can't even breathe. In the middle of the last song, she looks at me and says "Come on keep going no push-ups tonight, that should make you feel better." Even Lori knows I don't like push-ups. When is Cynthia going to realize this? Actually, Cynthia does knows this and next time she give me push-ups will probably just say something like "you are only hurting yourself" or "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" or my favorite "oh well!"

Calistoga Springs Lime Seltzers

About two and a half years ago, I gave up soda. Really not in hopes of losing weight, just knew it was bad news. I would have a Pepsi for breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner. When my Andrew started doing this and moving into teenage years, I knew it was time to quit. This was a very difficult addiction for me and it still rears it ugly head. To quit, I went 'cold turkey' and substituted with ice tea (the kind with tons of sugar) but this did not work... because at that time I did not really like ice tea... not even with all the sugar. I moved to those crystal light packets that you just add to water, this did not work either. I could just taste that chemically fake sugar... tasted to much like diet, yuck. Finally I figured out it was the bubbles I was missing -well, the sugar and the bubbles. I moved to Poland Springs Seltzers (I like the lime), which did the trick. The seltzers reminded me of my home town in California, where our fridge was always packed with ice cold Calistoga Springs Lime Seltzers. Especially when Andrew was born, we always had these at the ready (July hot California summer... new baby and cold Calistoga, nice!). Side note: Poland springs can not compete with Calistoga... not even close - Calistoga so much better!

Now you must be thinking why is Dovie talking about something from 2+ years ago... how does this relate? This soda addiction rears it's ugly head every now and again, and more importantly than ever I need to keep it at bay. So, when I get drinks with friends and they bring up Pepsi or soda... it becomes this thought that sticks in my head. I am already fighting with myself not having snacks on the table and fighting the thoughts of Pepsi on tap. That same night, I end up at the movies... I made it through "drinks with friends" just fine - but the movies, not so much... I ended up taking sips of Andrew's soda. I had my water, but forgot it in the car... was that my downfall? Or was it the thought of soda from earlier that made me do it, or the addiction? I know how to get fat and I know to get skinny, but do I know how to stay skinny? Do I know how to manage my day-to-day life? I should be able to just have a Pepsi and be done, but this will spiral me back into my old crazy ways, right? All I know is; today I have wanted Pepsi and have been fighting that addiction all day.

One Little Side Thought

Another workout for the books, hard and stressful. Seems like training with Cynthia should be getting easier, not harder. She just pushes and pushes, expects more and more... adding more and more weight. I have too much on my mind to concentrate on lifting, I'm feeling distracted, which makes everything harder. My mental strength needs to be at 93 percent at least to get through these workouts and one little 'side thought' can make me fall off the rails. Today I lost it early and was never able to recover... does this matter to Cynthia? Not sure... in the gym she is all business. She does ask what is wrong, but when I don't say anything... is that permission to keep pushing? I am supposed to just talk in the middle of the gym? Yea, that is not going to happen.

I had two training sessions this week, they were good because... no perfect push ups! This makes me happy. We did a few new things:

1. Jumping Negative Pull Ups (might hate these as much as push-ups).

These were ok, 2 out of the 6 were ok... the rest pretty pathetic and the other 2 sets even more pathetic. I have a feeling I will be seeing a lot more of these, until they are perfect.

2. Bicep Curls while Kneeling on a Stability Ball.

This was awesome, Cynthia always demonstrates each exercise before she tortures me with it. This time she trys to settle herself on the stability ball, which wasn't easy for her, took about 30 seconds. I laughed a little, because I knew I could do this one (she had no idea I/we practice this at home). I just jumped right on and looked at her... Cynthia was amazed and looked behind me thinking I had my foot on the wall or something (how dare she think I would cheat!). She timed me the 90 seconds, which was cake. She was just amazed! I explain that they do this on Biggest Loser all the time and some of the stuff we can try at home, haha. I often do this during commercials. Because this was so easy for me, she put weights in my hands and I had to bicep curls. After the 15 reps I handed her the weights and just stayed on the ball and said, "Is that all you got for me?" hahah! Is Cynthia is having a hard time with me getting stronger? She looked so unstable on that ball, I may be willing to have a contest to see who can stay on it longest. Forget it, Cynthia is going to read this and start practicing, I have to be careful with that winning streak she has.

3. Squats on an Upside Down Bosu with a 12lb Medicine Ball.

Ok this one was hard... my left leg was shaking like crazy and the Bosu was just going everywhere, I could not get my sea legs. It was embarrassing. By the 3rd set I figured out if I press down really hard on my feet the Bosu would stay more still... so the 3rd set much better. I guess putting the Bosu upside down, is just one of those crazy things trainers think up... torture.

Day 2 StairMaster from Hell - Part Deux

In what seems like years ago when I first started training, Cynthia had me get on the stairmill (day 2 of training). You can re-read that blog entry by scrolling way to the bottom or click HERE. If you scrolled, check out my 'before' picture where my boobs are on my stomach and my stomach is on my thighs hahah. Anyway, back to the stairmill. Cynthia mentions every few weeks that I should spend a half hour on the stairmill, to get the best bang for my buck. I have always been intimidated by the stairmill because of that first time experience, it was so hard. Seems like I constantly have to "trick" my brain... my brain looks at that machine and says "Dovie what the hell? No way!" But, my body can do it... it is now strong. So, Saturday morning, ended up at the gym, running... went 2 miles and had to stop. I was disappointed in myself for quitting. Seems like I have been giving up a lot lately or just saying... done, done and stopping. As I got off the treadmill, I saw the stairmill and said, "ok... since you quit, go get on that thing for punishment." I stepped on and started out with 7 minutes, it turned out to be a piece of cake (the only cake I get now is that stairmill, I guess). Once that 7 minutes was up, I did another, then another... hahaha. It was good to feel strong, like I beat the machine, when not so long ago it beat me.

Feeling Sludgy

I knew that November would be difficult... because of Halloween... candy is everywhere and I have been dipping into it (every chance I get). Not sure why, it doesn't taste the same, it doesn't taste good... maybe I am trying to get that taste again? But, the candy is just everywhere... home and work. Went to a meeting today and what was sitting in the middle of the conference room?... a HUGE bowl of candy. I had to sit there and stare at this for an hour, fighting with myself. For the most part I have been eating good, but I really need to stop the candy. I was running this morning and just felt sludgy (Cynthia stop smiling) hopefully the candy will be out of my system by tomorrow. I regret eating it and so much of it. I need to stop making the same mistakes, so I am back to my food log and tracking everything.

Why the Body Image Issues

I've been having some body image issues. Everything is just changing. When I think about this whole process it seems like it took years, when really it has been six months. I don't know how my whole life can change in such a short time. When I had lost just 20 pounds, or 30... I was proud and happy. But now when people say something I am starting to get embarrassed by it, and don't know why. I was in the gym (of course) and a member came up and was telling me how great I look, saying I've done a fabulous job, and asking what my total weight loss is now. Somehow I just started moving backwards and ended up standing slightly behind Cynthia. I was just embarrassed, and Cynthia had to tell the total count. I just said, "oh, a few pounds." Don't know why I did this, I should be proud... it was a lot of hard work (blood, sweat and tons of tears) and I deserve to be proud. So, why the body image issues? I saw a reflection of my face in a store window and thought, "Who is that, is that what people see?.. is that girl happy?" Later that week I tried on winter coats... I never really had one of these before and living in Massachusetts, one really should have a coat. They were always just so big and puffy, I really didn't need to add an extra 4 inches around my body, lol. Anyway, a medium coat fit... but I just could not believe it. Seems like every time I try on a medium and it fits... a small miracle happens. I just put the coat back and had to get out of the store. I just couldn't deal, not sure why. After a few days, I started going though all my clothes, all the summer clothes. I guess... all the size 16/18 should go to charity, but should I really do this? Maybe taking these to the 'give away bin' will help... purge my life. I still feel like that fat girl, I am trying to let her go, but she is constantly following me. I need to purge... throw away the clothes and throw away that fat girl image. Do I need help? I have not been able to do this on my own, but I think this is something only I can do.

Am I A Step Snob?

This weekend was the Global Fitness open house... a huge launch party. Every quarter all of the group fitness classes debut the new music... and those same songs are played for a few weeks, then the instructors can pick and choose the music. Saturday I went to the step launch and it was good, there was one really hard song... but basically I like when the instructors can pick and choose the music... making all the songs hard. I mean, I did still sweat like crazy and got a good work out, but learning the new footing is always hard on my brain. I am very uncoordinated. Adding to my "uncoordinatedness," I am so familiar with Lori's style that is is harder for me to follow another instructor. Does this make me a step snob??... another member jokingly called me this after class as we discussed the new music. I just replied, "I lost the 59 lbs, because I chose the best!"

At Sunday's step class, there were three instructors (Jane, Mary & Lori) each teaching a few songs. But, I could see Lori desperately trying to help me. Looking at me and using hand gestures to help me keep up. Lori takes good care of me... making sure I always burn some fat in her class. When it was Mary's turn she said, "come on Dove, I know you are strong!" I must have just looked like a mess, hahhaha. On Mary's last song, she came off the stage and ran with me. My knees did not go up as high as hers, but I kept up! I am definitely getting stronger. When it was Lori's turn for the last 3 songs, I was able to relax a bit and really just listen to her instead of having to watch and listen... I am just use to Lori, if that makes me a snob, then so be it.

Cynthia Can Not Step...

Today I went to Mary's step class. I got to know Mary taking her ride class Friday mornings, and she is very good (always pushing and always choosing the hardest music). Mary will also yell at you if you don't turn up the heat on the bike... or try to turn it down (she doesn't only yell, she is also very encouraging). I wasn't sure if her step class would be the same... I knew it would be good, but would she call me out if I was going right when everyone else was going left? Cynthia decided to take the class with me since we had training right after... I was looking forward to this because rumor on the street: Cynthia can not step at all!!! Well everyone, the rumors are correct, Cynthia can not step ahhaha. But, she did give it the good old college try... Cynthia is a true athlete though and it won't take long for her to become a true stepper (20 to 30 more classes should do it). The funny part of this whole thing is after the class while Cynthia was training me... she was done, needed to sit down... step destroyed her and I was fine. I finally was better at something... it was AWESOME, I loved it! Unfortunately, I wont be better for long, if Cynthia keeps practicing. Her advantage; she can hear the music and keep the beat... I will never be able to do that.

You, Me and Broccoli

Today's step class was great, my body is done... tired, stressed and battered, but this class was just what I needed. Lori really gets into the music and needs to turn it way up... the louder the music, the crazier she gets! Her enthusiasm is so contagious. I can't believe how high she can bring up her knees, maybe someday I will be able to do that. Lori always seems to know the right thing to say at the exact right time. We were in the middle of the last song, and I wanted to give up, slow down... just lie down... but that is not OK with Lori! She looks right at me and says, "come on! you, me and broccoli, I'll get you through this." Just enough to make me smile and get me through the last 5 minutes (Lori knows how sick I am of broccoli). Seems like everyone in my life just won't let me give up. The encouragement is just great!

Later today we went to the mall... and ended up eating at the food court. As my family ran off to their respective restaurant choices, I held the table... needed time to figure out what to eat. I held my head in my hands, closed my eyes and said to myself, "Cynthia where are you, help me figure out what to eat." Trying to channel Cynthia did not work... an instant answer didn't pop up and I was on my own. As I looked around I found a place with wheat bread and turkey... and another place with steamed broccoli. I gathered my choices and thought of Lori... "you, me and broccoli" hahah! And I was ok... I did it. Maybe I will be able to make this work.

Under Pressure

Ok, I am officially getting tired of all of this... the training... the food... the pressure, did I mention the training. Every day someone says, "you look great, good job or your my inspiration"... well that is all fine and good, but what is going to happen a year from now... when this is all forgotten and I am on my own. Don't you think the pressure to keep it off is going to be worse than this, and this seems pretty bad. As I think back over the last few weeks, I try to figure out when was my last day off, day off from the gym. I can't remember. Maybe I just need a break. But, I am scared to do that, I don't want to gain. This whole thing is taken on a life of it's own and this life has taken a toll on me and my family. So many people tell me... it is ok, you are doing this for yourself, just keep doing what your doing. Don't worry everything will be ok once you hit maintenance... but I am just not sure anymore. What is the price I am paying to be healthy?

Algebra

I should have had that red bull for last nights work out... I was so tired half way through I wanted to take a nap. Cynthia wasn't going for that, she just kept putting the weights in my hands. I am not sure where my motivation has gone, but when someone is pushing you... there really isn't a choice. I guess if it was my choice... it would have taken the nap.

Of course we started out with legs, I was very wobbly in my balance... just felt distracted (it was only the first 15 minutes... I tried to tell myself to focus). Once we got through that we started on arms and back... can you guess what that means, yes of course, Cynthia's beloved perfect push-ups. I think she likes torturing me. And, why am I always graduating... graduating from 3 push-ups to 5, then 7, then 8. Now 12! And it really isn't fair that I moved from 8 to 12 in one and a half weeks. I could tell my 3rd set of push-ups were not close perfect... well I don't want anyone to think the first 2 sets were, but they were not bad. The 3rd set was just not low enough... not low enough to smell the dirty carpet. Yuck. I feel like this is algebra... I took it, but never use it. When I am done with this will I ever use the push-up in my real life? Hey... Cynthia... I am too old to join the Marines!

After the work out I went to Centergy with "my gang" as Tony calls them. Myself, Cynthia, Katherine and Heather. Tony went too... I guess he doesn't quite feel like part of the gang yet. It was a hard class, but good and relaxing. I kind of feel like a dope in the class though, the instructor saying... right leg... and there goes my left, hahahha. But, it was a good sweat and good stretch after such a hard work out.

Bothering/Nagging/Pleading

Cynthia has been bothering/nagging/pleading for me to post.... so... here it goes (this may be hindering my creativity). I haven't been posting, because I really have not been inspired to lose the lb's this week. I have been doing everything right, like my crazy cardio/workouts 7 days a week... oh yea, not every thing right; there was the Cheerios and chocolate chip cookie dinner. This week my head just really wasn't in it. I haven't allowed myself to be all consumed with what f'ing fruit or veggie I am eating next and/or when is my next workout, just too much other stuff on my mind. I know this is really scaring Cynthia, I guess I shouldn't have told her I am not inspired. Cynthia (little worry wart) and I went on a long walk this week... she wants me to hold on to her for inspiration if I can't find any inside myself. Telling me I have come too far and I am just too close. I don't want to let people down and it just would not be fair to all who have been supporting me. She also gave me a new goal of 150 to 152lbs. At first I agreed, but then changed it to 149! This way I can move the big block on the hospital scale, which would be really cool!

This doesn't mean I am going back; it is just a blip on the radar. I don't know... maybe blips on the radar can become something bigger and bigger... like my ass getting bigger and bigger. But, for now I will hold on to Cynthia and all who have been supporting me... thank you... let's just get me through one more week.

Human

Friday's workout was a little different, we worked out together. Not sure why or what Cynthia is thinking... could be:

a) testing me to see how well I can handle doing this on my own
b) letting me see I can keep up with her (barley)
c) trying to mold me into her work out partner
d) just trying to mix it up
e) God only knows

But, since I am now down 52 pounds, what ever her reasoning I will go with it. I thought my workouts were hard, but what Cynthia does to herself is crazy. Everything was in sets of 2 (pull downs and squats for example). So we would do 10 pull downs then 1 squat. Then 9 pull downs and 2 squats... get the picture? The math was hard to keep up with, I didn't really keep track, I let her deal with that.

Burpies & Back rows
I really don't mind the burpies, but they do make me have to pee. Cynthia jumps higher than me, but she is a couple inches taller... so it may be all relative, yes?
Lat Pull downs & Squats
These were fine... I was able to do my pull downs fine... and squats - what is one more f'ing squat? I'm at 10 billion anyway!
Shoulder press & push-ups (I hate push-ups)
For some reason Cynthia wants me to have nice shoulders... something about a bridesmaid's dress. She also wants my nose to just about hit floor (like when she does a push-up), stupid perfect push-ups. I should get a pass from the nose to the floor thing because the carpet in the gym is disgusting. I will do the nose thing at home, promise [fingers may or may not be crossed].
Renegades & lunges (Renegades Suck!)
Now why we would go from push ups to renegades I have no idea. I don't have much to say about these renegades, I feel like I just complain and complain. Cynthia knows I especially hate certain things, but she pushes me anyway. Why? I am starting to see a pattern (and yes it has taken this long). I was running with Robbie the other day, who did awesome. I loved how we fist-bumped throughout the two miles. I think he liked seeing me... seeing me somewhere other than the couch. But, as we were running The Pretenders song "Human" came on. I was listening and it helped me figure out this pattern. Here is one line: "But you go to extremes, you push me too far. Then you keep going til you break my heart." The training sessions, escalate... each time, they just get harder and harder and harder. Until I am crying in my car (broken again). Then we start over.

Get Candy, Get Candy, Get Candy [Seinfeld]

I love candy... I know you are not supposed to love inanimate objects, but I have been missing my long time love affair with candy.

I haven't really talked a lot about my "diet" life style change. My diet was "what are fruits and veggies?" which changed to fruit and vegetables at every meal... and Cynthia still saying eat more fruit and vegetables. Every week I turn in my food log and write all kinds of little notes, really trying to make Cynthia laugh. But, the last few weeks at the end of the log I would write, something like, "can I have a candy now?" or "How about half a candy bar" or "I promise it won't be king size". Well I finally broke her, I broke her instead of me getting broken for once! Yes! Cynthia said... "fine have your candy, have all you want in one sitting, just one sitting". This made me scared, but yet very happy. So, the boys and I planned the day (after weigh in of course) and the treats: Reese's, Sour Patch Kids, Butterfinger, Twix, Charleston Chew, Score Bar. As I ate the candy, I noticed right away that it just didn't taste as good as it use to and my heart began to race. When I finished, I just didn't feel good. Hard to explain, but it was like I felt my blood trying to move through my body. It was a long night, but by the time I hit the hay my tummy was gurgling. I eventually fell asleep and had weird dreams of sugar plums dancing. The next day, I felt sad... I just went to the funeral for my love of candy (Cynthia stop smiling!!!!).

My Dear Sweet Candy,

We had some good years, we laughed, we cried, but I just don't love you anymore.

Love,

Dovie

Maynard 5K

I remember when this all began (seems like years ago), after the first few weeks of training with Cynthia, she suggested I should do the Maynard 5k. I couldn't comprehend running at that time, I never ran to anything, not even a doughnut shop. I am sure I thought something like, "this girl is insane!" or "what the hell did I get myself into?"

Even though I practiced and practiced, heard many pep talks... the nerves were getting to me. And, it sure didn't help when Cynthia said, "33 minutes, right Dove?" along with that big smile. That 'raising of the bar' she does is really not fun. I hate the nerves, I have to work on getting out of my own head; Cynthia would say the opposite, I need to get into my own head (oh, tomato, tomato). We did get lucky today, the weather was great and I had perfect running partners. My sister-in-laws (Patti & Mary), the bride-to-be (Meghan), and of course the infamous Cynthia. Thank goodness for all of them. The first mile is a long straight away and at one point, I did see Cynthia WAAAAAY ahead and knew I would not see her again until the end, what a brat! Mary and Meghan were behind and I knew they would not pass me, neither one of them have been practicing. Patti stayed with me and was a great partner, she kept cheering me on, which I needed at the end. At one point, I felt like I could not catch my breath and got a little cramp. At the last quarter mile I saw Kelly... holding signs "No One Can Beat the Lenox Ladies" and "We Love Dove." Tony was there cheering and taking our pictures, and we all did look good. Patti kept saying, let me know when you want to sprint... she was itching to go. But, I wanted to wait until the very, very, very end. Once we hit the parking lot I said ok and we went. There were a few people in front of us and we passed them. I saw Cynthia waving at me then she started running along side, I turned it on and just went. It was a very cool ending and we had a time of 35 minutes, 50 seconds. Patti thinks since we started way in the back and weren't able to run right away that our time was probably faster. I must admit, I did like passing people!

After the race I was totally done. It took me a while for my brain to recover. Cynthia knew something was up... she kept asking what's wrong (trying to get in my head again). I don't know, I just needed to settle down a bit I guess, let my head wrap around what I just did. Overall it was great, and we all committed to doing the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. I better get the route to start practicing. Patti wants to shave off 2 more minutes!

Cynthia... if I run the Turkey Trot, can I have 2 pieces of pecan pie? One Thursday night, and the other for breakfast Friday morning? Pecan pie for breakfast... the BEST!

Public Apology

Well... here it is an official public apology from Dovie. It isn't often that I am wrong, because frankly, I am always right because I am that good. But, on this occasion I was wrong. In one of my last posts (Monkey Moves) I went off on Cynthia regarding the Tofu Ice cream Tofutti. Yea... it was pretty bad, funny but bad.

I was walking around Stop & Shop and came across the Tofutti's... honestly got them just to make more fun of them on this crazy blog. But, they were actually pretty good and the kids liked them too. I guess they were just happy to have anything since I don't buy snacks anymore.

Cynthia I am sorry, you were right and I was wrong, and I am taking down my new blog: DovieAgainstTofu.blogspot.com

SuperSets

My legs hurt. My legs hurt. My legs hurt. Can you guess what we worked on today?

I have had a long week, started with an email from Cynthia on Friday (9/11) telling me no days off until Thursday (9/17)... here is a snippet of the email: "Between tomorrow and Thursday, no days off, get in those cardio classes that push you to the max (like my Ride class) or go running." Does anyone feel sorry for me? I was probably already going to do this, but once I got the email, I instantly felt rebellious. Tomorrow will be the last day of this long run... tomorrow night I begin to rest.

Tuesdays I usually spend with Lori in step class which is just plain hard, Lori is a rock star, she ALWAYS chooses the hardest music and never lets me quite. Last class she looked right at me and yelled, "This is not a break, you know what I want." But not this week... this week I went to Cynthia's ride class. And, even though I know the dangers of her ride class, I went for it. Cynthia kept a close eye on me... she even moved my bike closer to hers. With all this pressure I really had to push it and did, I was dripping sweat. All of this lead to today... walking into the gym with my legs already hurting. Does anyone feel sorry for me?

Cynthia always starts every workout with my legs, always pounding the legs. Today we did some supersets, (pronounced like Molly Shannon's "Supa staahhh") We went right to the squat machine, then into jumping squats. For the rest of my life I will hear Cynthia's voice in my head... "sit your hips back, really sit those hips back... come on sit those hips back." We did some other crazy leg moves... and as I complained she says, "come on, you know today is your hard day." I didn't know that... I think every day is hard. Once the legs were done, we went to chest... and of course my favorite push ups (push ups SUCK!). Of course it didn't end there... we moved back to the smith machine and she had me do some sort of reverse push up thing, which I must say SUCKS even worse! Cynthia did a quick set of six herself and made it look very easy... her body stiff as a board. I talked her into letting me bend my knees... but once I was done... she said never again... no more using your legs (maybe next time she won't remember). I can keep complaining... should I? Do you think it helps or hurts? Let's talk about core, shall we. The girl had me in a side plank, weight in my hand then twist and bring the weight down and under me. And of course my feet were on a bosu. Finally we were done, done. Does anyone feel sorry for me?

On another side note, the Biggest Loser started this week. The show has been completely ruined for me. I was watching the contests do things I have done, and feel things I feel everyday... my heart was racing and I was so anxious the whole time! Cynthia does not yell like Bob and Jillian... but if she was in the gym with me for 6 hours a day like the contestants, I think there would be some yelling - from both of us!

Running in the Rain... Cathartic?

Well this 5K is coming up, quite quickly and I guess I am ready. I have run the course several times and can do it with out stopping. My time has been improving, shaving off a minute here and there. Tony has been running it with me, I think he is scared I am going to get run over, because I really pay no attention to traffic... and he keeps yelling, "Dove, Car!" Dude, I don't have time for cars, I just want to get through it. There is one hill that is hard, and kills, but if I have the right song, then I get past it. After that the rest of the course is ok... basically. I do have a small issue when running, just a bit of crying. Yea, for some reason I get a runners low and burst into tears. It is really crazy and hard to run when that happens. I think it may be one of the songs in my play list. But, I have been getting better and it is happening less and less. What a crazy thing!

Cynthia decided to torture me and meet me to run the course, and yes I was nervous. I just wanted her to go, didn't want to hold her back. I tried to gather myself... get out of my own head a little, but then I heard... "ok, GO. GO." (Cynthia yells during cardio, and won't admit it). Anyway, she was off. The first mile is just straight so I just watched the ponytail sway back and fort, as the distance between us keep increasing. Cynthia turned the corner and I was thinking of cutting through someones yard to catch up a bit, but my shoes would have gotten wet. Tony and I just kept plugging away. I didn't see her at all again until the very end. I turned on to Sudbury St and she was there... way, way, way ahead, but there. Then gone. Cynthia is always telling me, "I am not a fast runner." But her triathlon results show 8 minute miles, that seems pretty fast to me. When I hit the end of the route, Cynthia was not there, probably took an extra lap, but when I finally found her I made a big mistake. I said, "What happened, did the fat girl beat you?" Oh boy, I got in trouble for that one, which lead to a homework assignment, 10 pages, typed, double spaced... oh boy, I hate homework.

During Friday's usual personal training beat down, Cynthia casually mentioned that I should run in the rain, just in case it is raining the day of the race. I was like... What? It won't get canceled for rain? For all you Californians, it rains here during the summer. You can't plan a party! Since I always do what I am told, Tony and I ran yesterday in the POOOURING rain. Oh my God, there was so much rain! I kept on my little jacket, but ended up having to take it off because I was so hot, but yet soaked. I think that running it the rain is ridiculous and unnecessary. If it is raining the day of the 5K, I hope Cynthia can bench press 167, because she is going to have to carry or drag me there. And she better be at my house an hour early, because I will be fighting her the whole way. Running in the rain... cathartic my ass!

My Dear Arleen

I have a great friend in California, Arleen, who only influenced me... totally. Making me go to class, do homework, and correcting my papers (which really needed it). There were some times where she practically saved my life... at least my psyche. I very much appreciate all that was done for me... thank you. One California Sunny Sunday morning, Arleen dragged me to church (dragged is probably an exaggeration). I remember the sermon so very clearly... the priest explained how people think the most important thing you can tell a person is "I love you." This really is not the case, the most import thing you can tell someone is "I Need You." Well, just like I needed Arleen... Cynthia, I need you. During yesterday's workout Cynthia asked me "what are you going to do after this?" I did not have an answer, and just asked, "what do you want me to do?" I really have no idea, I don't even see a finish line, but I guess Cynthia does. I can not imagine doing any of this with out her... someday will I have to do this alone? Is this getting too deep?

Yesterday, Cynthia took it easy on me... well, as easy as she can. Actually not sure if easy is in her vocabulary. But, I did feel ok when our time was up. Today however my arms/shoulders are not working, which makes it very hard to type here in my sad cube. Whoops... I mean I am at home. The best part of the work out was Cynthia, myself and Amy (another trainer) was we all showed each other our tattoo's. Even when I was 47 lbs heavier I would show my butt... I don't really care about that kind of stuff. Not my problem if my butt is burned into your brain. I will offer up a prize to anyone who can correctly guess Cynthia's Tattoo... let me give you a hint. It is NOT a bottle of high fructose corn syrup! Cynthia... please email me a photo so I can post it, we don't have to tell your Tony.

Renegades Suck!

Wednesdays and Fridays are too close together. I am hardly recovered before my next pounding begins. Today's work out was extremely difficult, possibly the toughest one yet. We did some crazy ass circuit, which made my head spin. This is how it went, but I am sure I have the order wrong, but close enough: Kettlebell Swing, Chest Press, Front and Reverse Lunges on bosu, Iron Cross, Pull-down, Mountain climbers, Chest flys, Bicep curls, Renegades (which SUCK!), Assisted pull-ups, Side plank dips, Sit ups on bosu. Cynthia... did I forget anything?

Before the pull-ups in the second set, I started pacing around, really just trying to get away... looking for a way to escape. I don't like that machine. I heard a distant voice calling my name, because I ended up across the gym. Reluctantly I got on that piece of crap machine, it is just so hard. Why isn't any of this getting easier? After the 10 reps, I was ready to cry. I shook my head to hold it in, and my eyes seemed to flying around like in a cartoon. Cynthia knew I was going to lose it, but she took me over to the free weights and gave me 45lbs and said, "hold it, just hold it." I thought she was going to try to get in my head, and gave me the weight so I couldn't walk away (or if I did she could easily catch me). But, she was very sweet, and told me I was doing great and to think about the weight loss... I was physically holding my loss. Not sure if I "really" heard her at the time, but I have been thinking it.

Middle of the 3rd set, I was pretty shaky, ok, more than pretty shaky... everything went kind of blurry. Cynthia later told me I gave a little attitude. I guess I looked at her and said "What the F@$#, this is nuts!" I don't remember saying that or giving attitude, but that does sound like me, sorry. Not sure how I got through it (barely got through it). My mind helping me by keeping it blocked out, even now. I am going to need the next 4 days to recover, but I can't, I have to keep going, doing my cardio, I just want to get to 169 this week.

I told my family about being put through the ringer, no one really felt sorry for me. But, Robbie decided to make a diorama of me and Cynthia at the gym. It reminds me of those old-timey commercials of your brain on drugs, where the egg gets fried. This is my body when training. Cynthia frying me. I love the dumbbell made of marshmallows, ironic?

P.S. Cynthia is it ok to call you sweet?

Monkey Moves

Ok, perfect push-ups need to stop, that is all I have to say on that subject. Now on to your regularly programmed blog:

I was very much looking forward to my work out yesterday, not sure why... do I regret that now, as I can't even get up the stairs (oh my gluteus maximus hurts so bad). We always start with legs, and this time we did some crazy monkey moves. Cynthia gave me a 45 pound bar to hold on the "fatty part" of my back/shoulders/neck (I think she was calling me fat) . Then I had to squat, move one leg back, while holding the squat... bring it back, then stand, then the other leg. I don't think I am really explaining this right, but think of a sumo wrestler. I felt like a monkey, and was making some sounds like one too! Once all the squats, lunges, and leg lifts were done, we moved on. I glanced at the clock and thought oh boy, there was definitely no rest for the wicked! It was time for core, I love core. Do I really need a core? The first set was horrible and I tried to get out of the rest saying, "OK, I am done." But, when Cynthia asked me, "You can't do one more set?" I just smiled and thought... hmmm what can I really get away with here. But, I just rested for a few and finished. Finally I was done... or was I?

All of the sweat, lifting and drooling was easy compared to getting in trouble with my food log.... ha. We went over every line on my food log (how Cynthia can even read my handwriting and misspelled words is a miracle in itself). We talked about the need for more veggies and the love of salad (Cynthia's love, not mine). I am really tired of fruit and veggies. I have eaten more fruit and veggies in the last few months, than I have eaten in my whole life. I was in big time trouble for eating two Skinny Cow ice creams, at least it wasn't in one sitting, right? And, Cynthia has the audacity to bring up some tofu ice cream.... yes that's right tofu ice cream... I think that is a sin! I would go straight to hell, if I ate tofu ice cream! I mean don't you think that is going a little to far? I could go on for hours about the hazards of tofu... or maybe I should just start a new blog: DovieAgainstTofu.blogspot.com

I do ultimately want to lose weight, so I will try to do better this week. I started out today, great with my egg whites and banana. A few weeks ago Cynthia took away my 1 whole egg with 2 whites... "try to have whites only." I had my low fat cheese and apple for snack, and then came lunch. I walked over to the barfateria here at work and..... got a salad and a bison burger. That's right a salad, and a lightning bolt did not strike me down!!! Take a look at my little bison burger on half the wheat bun and half a piece of cheese and my little bit of salad dressing... what has my world come to?

Bright and Early

Today's work out was bright and early at 6:30am, that is 3:30 am for all you west coasters. I am not sure where the saying "bright and early" came from... because it was dark when I got up... there was no bright, only early! My brain was not working, had to go from the car to the house, up the stairs three times and still forgot my lunch (I was considering it a warm-up). Even with the Red Bull I was not functioning, but guess what... good thing... Cynthia is a morning person!!! Whoooohooo one of us was awake. I walk into the gym and hear, "THERE SHE IS" and see a big smile. That is when I knew one of us was awake (oh no!).

We started with legs, legs and more legs. It totally sucked. Cynthia kept adding on more weight, as usual, after the first set I woke up (kind of). After the legs we moved on to this, that and the other AND tons of push-ups. Why does she love the perfect push-up? I know my push-ups are not perfect, maybe when they are we won't do them anymore. I wonder how many I would have to do, perfectly... I may be able to do one perfectly. After the 39 push-ups we moved on to core. I love core, did I convince anyone? Sometimes when we move into something wicked hard, I get this tunnel vision, it is so weird, this was one of those times. Cynthia starts hooking up these hanging ab straps. I am like #*&($@&@#... translation: oh my gosh, what the hell. I tried to get out of it... saying I need to get to work, no luck. After a few laps around the gym (apparently I pace), I got it done along with all the other ab crap. Yea that's right, ab crap! Needless to say my abs hurt so bad right now.

I got out of there... drove home, grabbed my lunch and made it to work running into my 9am meeting. The meeting was GREAT, someone totally got yelled at and it made my day, whoops did I say that out loud?

Pity Party Dress

During my vacation from the gym, I struggled. Thinking that this whole thing has just become too much, it has a life of it's own, and it is taking me along for the ride. I felt like it is time to get off the ride for awhile, or slow down. Yea I know... I just had a week off. I actually thought about quitting, even wrote the email to Cynthia. If I had sent it... probably would have to find another gym... she would have killed me. I wasn't actually going to quit... just slowing down, like 2 to 3 cardio's a week is fine, just maintain. The weight I have lost is good enough, why go down more? I don't want or need to be an athlete, unless there is an event for most TV watched in a day... Cynthia is there a routine that can help me achieve the Guinness Book of Records for most TV watched in one sitting? Wait a minute... Dino, did you already win this? All right everyone calm down... don't worry I am not giving up, it was just a moment of weakness (or clarity, ha). I put my pity party dress away, Jen thanks for talking me off the cliff.

Yesterday's workout with Cynthia really wasn't horrible... I felt pretty good. Today however my shoulders and abs are killing me, she is always pounding my shoulders (screaming why)!!!!! I was feeling quite (rebellious, impish, bratty, mischievous, difficult, unruly, naughty) what ever you want to call it, just being... Dovie. For example Cynthia would say "15 sit ups", and I would say "What if I just say no?" haha. Sorry Cynthia, you really have to put up with me. But, considering we haven't done any weight training since August 7th, I think it was a pretty good comeback. I was expecting way worse.

I Can't

This weekend Robbie (and Kelly) gave me a really hard time about going to the gym. Robbie was begging me not to go. I really didn't understand this, we were just watching TV, it wasn't like I was leaving in the middle of a monopoly game. It was however, my second work out for the day. Did I really need to go? I felt stuck, if I left I would just feel like crap the whole time and if I stayed Rob would just do this to me every time I tried to go. Andrew actually came to my defense and yelled at Rob, really got in his face like brothers do. Telling him to leave me alone and asking why he doesn't want me to be healthy.

Later that day Cynthia emailed me asking me if I signed up for the damn 5K in Maynard. She asks me every week. I replied to her email saying I can't do it. My inner fat girl really believed that... she can't. That "I can't" really bothered me, I really didn't even sleep well. If Andrew ever said "I can't" I would and have laid into him. "I can't" is considered a swear in my house, pretty funny since I have a mouth like a truck driver (except when my mom is around, sorry Mom). Here I have this kid defending me... and I am still saying I can't. What kind of mother am I really, if I allow this?

I decided today is the day... I am going for it, I am going to run 3 miles. I got on the treadmill put a post-it over the clock, and just went for it. And... I did it, ran 3.3 miles, took me 45 minutes and now I feel great. I just registered for the race, holy crap!

P.S. When I got home from the gym that day, Robbie apologized to me, what a good boy!

Triathlon

I have been enjoying my vacation, eating everything in sight and staying far, far, far away from the gym and of course tons of TV. This is normal for someone on vacation... right? But, who am I to say what is normal? Cynthia's idea of a normal vacation is running a triathlon ("just for fun"), reading and probably eating right.

As you know Cynthia is a ride instructor at Global Fitness on Tuesday nights, and should teach more than the one night. One of the cool things about group fitness is that the classes generally have the same bunch of people. Two of my ride mates, Katherine and Heather, are always there and seem happy to be there (not to insinuate that I am not happy to be there). Katherine is awesome in ride class, I am completely tone deaf so I often follow her feet to keep pace with the music. Heather is good too, but I think her expertise is Centergy class, she totally rocks centergy! Well, these two crazy gals also did the triathlon, I am surrounded, I hope it is not contagious!
The race was Sunday at 7am. I woke up around that time and as I rolled over to fall back asleep I thought... oh there they go, good luck. By the time I woke up, Cynthia was done with the race and totally kicked ass! I am not sure how she ranked in other races, wondering if these results are normal. Out of 185 participants she came in 20th, 5th in her age group (%# years old), seems pretty damn good to me. Cynthia are you superwoman... do you have a cape under those workout clothes?

In case anyone is wondering: A triathlon is a multi-sport endurance event consisting of swimming, cycling, and running in immediate succession over various distances.

Cynthia:
Clock Time 01:11:22
Overall Place 20 / 185
Division Place 5 / 30
Heather:
Clock Time 01:27:38
Overall Place 89 / 185
Division Place 14 / 24
Katherine:
Clock Time 01:31:07
Overall Place 113 / 185
Division Place 10 / 15

When the Cat's Away!

Cynthia is on vacation... which means I get a week off from the body pounding. My assignment while she is gone; take the week off... no gym at all... and two cheat meals. Weird right? I asked several times, "are you sure, you really want me to take the week off?" So, Monday through Friday I get to just take it easy (that may not be long enough for my body to stop hurting).

My first cheat meal was Mexican food at La Carretta, one of the main reasons I got fat, so worth it! I did however take the long way to the restaurant, Tony and I rode our bikes the 18 miles to Nashua. It took us an hour and half, which was a really good time, I was mainly worried about getting lost (I certainly didn't want to have to ride any extra). Last time we attempted this, 2 years ago, I almost didn't make it and it took over two hours. This time, I even felt like I could ride back... but there was no way, especially after eating a TON of food. Cynthia doesn't know me very well, I would say... giving me a cheat meal is like letting a pit bull off it's leash. She said cheat meal... and I immediately had La Carretta's chalupa on the mind (CHALUPA -Flat corn tortilla with beans, lettuce, guacamole, tomatoe and cheese on top). Also not sure if she meant eating two whole meals in one sitting, ha! The whole meal I was thinking, why I am on a diet, and still thinking it... this food is way too good.

Cynthia... do you want to have a chalupa with me?

Inches, and Lack There Of

It has been 12 weeks, seems like a lifetime, but my first 24 pack of personal training sessions is done! I really can't believe the results!!!! It hasn't been easy... lots of pain and tears. All worth it? Of course! Cynthia is really great, I can't say enough. She thinks it is all me doing the work, and I think it is all her... let's stop the fighting... and compromise, we are a great team (mostly her though, I just do what I am told).

We did the measurements last night and here are the results....Tony, drum roll please.

13 May 2009
Biceps: 15”
Waist: 35 ¾”
Hips: 48 ½”
Thighs: 28 ½”

5 August 2009
Biceps: 13 ¼" down 1 3/4 inches
Waist: 33 3/8” down 2 3/8 inches
Hips: 43 ¼” down 5 1/4 inches
Thighs: 25 ¼” down 3 1/4 inches

Check out the chart of my weekly weight loss begining in March 2009. When I started on my own the weight loss was going steady. Once Cynthia got her hands on me the line goes crazy... my body was like... what are you doing to me? CHART LINK

What does Cynthia have to say about all this hard work...
"Yippee Skippee!!!! GREAT numbers, just plain GREAT!!!! Let’s keep up the good work, its just brilliant."

Kettle Hell

I feel very lucky to have this opportunity to work with Cynthia. She is truly a remarkable person and to learn from her is a life changing gift. Thank You, Cynthia, but really how can I ever thank you?

I just never know what Cynthia is going to come up with next. When I walked in she was wearing her running gear, which made my stomach drop. But, no running this time, like the good Catholic girl that I am, I say "THANK GOD." Cynthia had me wait in the free weight area and said, "I'll be right back with my toys." And, here she comes with 19 different sized kettlebells... ok there wasn't 19. We did about 7 different crazy things with the kettlebells, it totally sucked, and ended with 6 perfect push ups of course. One of these crazy things was Turkish Get Ups, these were outrageous... I can't even explain this. Click on this link to see a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztTOn0rSMis My problem was if Cynthia said left foot, my right foot went, and holding up the kettle was impossible. During the third set I was able to get it (I guess) but was given the embarrassing Barbi weight to hold up (3lb) instead of the kettle. What is more embarrassing... the Barbi weight or always sending the wrong foot? When we were done, I said, "that was horrifying" and Cynthia said, "Why? Kettlebells are fun!"

Before losing this weight... the only Turkish thing I dealt with were Turkish pistachios! They are the best pistachios money can buy and make Red Sox games even better! Wonder if they can be part of my diet?

Guest Blogger - Cynthia

Hey Dove,

As you know for 12+ years of my life I swam competitively. I practiced 3 hours a day, 7 days a week and sometimes it was twice a day and on school breaks it could be 3 times a day (I think I spent more time in water than on dry land). Before each practice I would get very nervous and anxious and really dread going to practice. One would think the anxiety would have subsided after the first year or two of doing this but it never left me and even today when I go to swim practice I get nervous. When I got to practice I would dutifully get in, nerves and all, and push myself beyond my limits. I would make nasty comments under my breath to my coaches, sneer at them, wonder what the “F” I was doing and then drag my spent body out of the pool at the end only to return the next day. Ironically the nerves never surfaced (okay they did a little, but that’s normal) when it was time for me to compete, I just got in and swam and did it with great success. After some time spent away from the pool I realized why I would get so nervous and why I still do. It was not knowing what the workout was going to be, my coach was always mixing it up to challenge me and that scared me. I knew it would be hard, I knew I would give it my all and I knew it was going to hurt like hell but deep down inside I also knew that when I got thru it I would be a better swimmer. Facing a fear head on regardless how hard is something that has spilled over into other aspects of my life and because of it I have become a stronger person.

Dove you get nauseous because you don’t know what to expect when you come to train with me. You know it will be hard, you know I raise the bar constantly, you give it your all every time and your body hurts like hell afterwards and sometimes days afterwards. But you are realizing success and that’s what continues to bring you back despite the nerves. Do you get nervous (okay maybe just a tad) when you step on the scale every Wednesday? I highly doubt it because deep down inside you know you’ve put the work in by eating right and exercising. When you step on the scale, try on new clothes in a different size, run longer than you thought, play tennis better, put down a piece of cake that was “too sweet”, have someone grab your butt because its getting tight, etc YOU have succeeded and that’s an incredible feeling, a feeling that far outweighs the hell you go thru with me. I had those same feelings when I finished a race in record time or stood on the first place podium-pure elation because you did it.

Try not to get so nervous when you come see me, I know its easier said than done but please try to understand that I have had those same feelings and still do under certain circumstances. Know that I (like many others) believe in your strength, will power and perseverance. My coaches saw in me a girl who would not back down and they fostered that and made me what I am today. I see a woman who has incredible drive to achieve what she wants and I am going to foster that to make you even better that you are today.

I hope this helps a bit…
Cynthia

Nauseous

I do not normally blog before my workouts with Cynthia, but I am feeling compelled. A few hours before my training sessions I start getting nervous and nauseous. Today this started the minute I woke up... maybe because my legs still hurt from Wednesday's training... and I am scared? I completely understand being nervous the first few times... but still nervous after all this time, what is wrong with me?

Cherry on Top

I think Global Fitness needs to have Trainer Games... lets put them all up against each other, just some nice team building and friendly competition. Something like the obstacle course on ABC's WipeOut!!!! Cynthia would totally win... easily. To make it even better, the clients get to pick the obstacles, hhahahh. Or it can be teams of trainer/client vs trainer/client... the twist, each trainer has to run the course over and over with each client. Cynthia would totally win... easily and I would run the anchor leg. I bet everyone else would be shaking in their boots (who works out in boots?).

Today's work out was brutal... started out fine, no lunges which made me happy (it should have made me suspicious). Cynthia always tells me I can do it, but my head really isn't quite there yet, especially when the weights keep going up. I know I couldn't do what I am doing with out her holding up my hand. Especially when I hear it is time for the "cherry on top" and I see those crazy boot camp eyes. Are you ready for this... 24 squats, 12 lunges each leg, 12 jump lunges on each leg, then 24 jump squats, all timed of course. My legs are still burning!!!!!

I am not happy right now (mainly because I can't walk up the stairs), but maybe I will be next Wednesday (weigh-in day). I mean, I did lose 4.4 lbs this week... so Cynthia is doing something right.

P.S. I got an A+ on my food log.

"Oh My God Your Broken"

Spent the weekend with the family for Meghan's Bridal shower... they are all so great and supportive. Everyone said I looked great, and I do (I never needed help with my ego). Out of all the complements the best one came from Patti, Tony's sister. Patti and I were eating the delicious cake from Jacques Pastries and I had about half and put in down saying, "this is too sweet, I'm done." Patti looked and me and said, "oh my God, your broken." She really wants me to run the 5K in September and will do it with me for support. So, we went for a run together and I got lots of good tips and she talked me through it. I actually ran longer than ever before and it was fun... if only Patti lived next door! Patti is absolutely one of my favorite people and maybe some day I will be skinny like her (Patti don't roll your eyes at me). I don't have a picture of me and Patti, but here is the cake... Meghan and I look so happy!

Down 5.1... down down down

I was very excited about my 5.1 pound loss this week. I really tried to keep to the plan and several days worked out twice a day. I guess sticking to the plan really works. Cynthia was also very excited and proud, too. She is really working just as hard as me... putting up with me is definitely difficult (ie: this blog).


Today's work out was great... did I just say great? Oh no, what is happening, am I starting to like the gym? Is my body starting to crave exercises, hmmm maybe. Who knows, one week I am crying the next I can't wait to go, bi-polar? We did a lot of lifting and Cynthia really pounded my legs..."big muscles first" she says. I was on two new machines, new to me anyway. Usually we start out with squats and lunges, this time we did them both on machines. I tried not to look at the weights, but did notice they kept increasing with each set. My legs were burning, I like the regular free standing squats/lunges better. Considering the pain, it seemed to be over pretty quickly, which was nice. We moved over to arms and chest. Cynthia really likes perfect push-ups. What makes them perfect, you ask?... I think going down nice and low and on your toes of course. We usually do 3 perfect push-ups, this time we moved to 5 perfect push-ups (note to self: ask if Cynthia spent time in the Marines). I think I did pretty good, I got through all 3,000 of them and got down lower then ever... I think.

Step Class with Lori

In the beginning of the year I took step class, and almost died... literally died! I could not walk for 2 days! One of the instructors told me to try a class called Active, which is about 20 minutes of stepping (slower pace) then some light weights. So... I gave Active a try and it was great. The problem with Active is that its on Tuesday nights, so I was missing Cynthia's ride class (this was long before she was training me). One day Cynthia saw me and asked where I have been. I told her Active and she kind of giggled. I know the calorie burn is not even close Active vs. Ride, but I wanted to work my way up to Step Class. After about 6 weeks, I had the steps and lingo down along with a lot of courage needed to try Step class again. It went great... I really feel in love with step class, even though I must look horrible, me with my tone deafness and going to the left when everyone else is going right, ha!

All of the Step instructions are great, but Lori is just the BEST. She seems to always know right when I am going to give up and yells (encourages). Sometime she looks right at me and says you can do it or come on... and one time she called me skinny. I am not sure if Lori even knows my name, but she has been a tremendous help in my weight loss. Thank You, Lori!

Last few weeks step class has been hurting my left calf... I am very upset about this. First of all I can't afford to take time off to rest, second, I love step... now what? Cynthia thinks it may be my shoes... not my special step shoes.... noooooooo?

Tennis Anyone?

We have been playing mixed doubles on Sundays, before Sunday dinner. Myself and Tony against Meghan and Scott. Tony and I were kicking butt for quite a few weeks, but Meghan and Scott have been getting better (they have youth on their side). They both got new tennis rackets... 100 bucks each... and Tony and I have been using our old rackets from Walmart (9.99 blue-light specials). Meghan gets very competitive and very unhappy when they lose, but still seems to be having fun. We really need to learn to how to keep score, we play volleyball rules, you can only score on your serve and go to 21 (ha). This time the kids won the first game and we won the second. Tie breaker... we totally kicked butt and brought home the trophy!

We played for about two hours, something I would never have been able to do last summer. I can keep up with the kids now... it is totally awesome! One of the best parts of the game was Robbie, our ball boy. He just ran and ran retrieving balls and setting us up for service. After we won I jogged around the field (the long way) back to the car... just to burn those few extra calories.

Meghan always need an outfit for each occasion... nice tennis gear!
Look how skinny my side view looks!

Cried in the Car Again

This was a hard week, I gained 4 oz... Cynthia may say it is ok, but I think she wants to punish me for wasting a week. Maybe I am just plateauing? Maybe it was just my bad food choices? Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself?

I went into Friday's work out very sore, everything hurt. I knew this wouldn't make it any easier (it is never easy). We started by going over my food log, which wasn't great. We (and by we, I mean Cynthia) talked about the importance of fruits and veggies and the evils of carbs. I just wasn't prepared this week, didn't really go grocery shopping and just kind of flailed. At least I wrote everything down right? Do I get points for that? What is a complex carb anyway?

Once the work out started... about 20 minutes in I lost it, all of my energy drained. It was the damn Renegades. I guess last time we did these I was on my knees, this time on my toes. After 14 billion I was done, ready to lay down and die. But, we still had more time, lots and lots of more time. Cynthia encouraging the whole time and boy did I need it. But, still got to my car and cried... then cried more when I got home. It is just so hard, the weights... the weight loss... the all consuming of it, having to think about it 24 hours a day. Once home everyone was very consoling and encouraging and soon I was smiling again. Tony did say... you pay her and she makes you cry, I can do that for free, ha!

It's a Big Lifting Day!

Going to a gym can be very intimidating for a fat girl... you just have to get over it. In the beginning I would just do my thing, keep my head down and work out. Took me about 2 years to get the guts to go to a class (glad I did now). Once you figure out that everyone at the gym is there for the same reason the energy changes, and it powers you to do more, work out harder.

Yesterday's workout was good, Cynthia met me with a big smile... "it's going to be a big lifting day." Not sure which is worse lifting or crazy boot camp eyes, I'll get back to you on that one. I try not to look at the weight when doing the machines, Cynthia just sets it and I just do it. I guess I always trusted her to set the weight appropriately... never really thought much of it, just tried to get through it. While working out I ended up having an audience. One of the other trainers (Amy Brogna) and her client were amazed at the weight I was lifting on the bench press. I didn't know I was doing anything special or amazing... just doing what I was told. Kind of weird... I guess I am stronger than I know.

After my hour was up, I was lucky because Cynthia's next client didn't show. I got an extra 15-20 minutes and we tried the row machine and the Jacob's ladder. The latter was quite bizarre it was going really fast and I felt like I was going to fall off. But, it was cool... will I try it again? Not sure. If Cynthia says do it, I will. I always do what I am told, right Tony? P.S. My butt looked that good!

Cynthia VS. Jackie Warner

Anyone watch Jackie Warner's show Work Out on Bravo? I did and loved it. Jackie Warner is on this months issue of Fitness RX Magazine for Women. The article talks about Jackie's new DVD and gives a 30 minute work out and 17 fitness tips. The work out is just OK... Cynthia had me doing these things on day one (ok maybe not day one, ha). But, I have done most of them. When reading through the tips, I see Cynthia has put me on all 17 of the tips!!! Little did I know that I have my own brunette-Jackie right here in Stow! What a hidden gem! I don't know for sure... but suspect Cynthia also has those abs.

Click here for Jackie's Tried-and-True Power Fitness Tips.
Click here for Jackie's Killer 30-minute High-intensity Power Circuit Training.


Now lets talk about this magazine cover... Jackie, what is up with those shorts? Are we working out in space? Wait, what great marketing... in space, I would probably weigh a lot less!!!

Ugly Ab Machine

Wednesday's training this week was hard, after a week and a half vacation I was worried that I took a few steps backward. I felt like I did well... Cynthia really pushed me. I believe the two of us think differently about Dove. Cynthia thinks Dove is this incredible athlete (or just an athlete) and Dove thinks Dove is a couch potato. Hopefully Dove will come around. The hardest part of this work out was these ab leg lifts, on this ab leg lift thing. Abs are always the worst part of the work out... maybe because they are always the last 15 minutes and I just want to lay down.












Why does this lady look so happy?

Neversink Walk

Cynthia is on vacation this week, does this mean I have the week off?... food wise YES! Did I really have Connie's chicken parm for dinner, breakfast and lunch.... shhhh, don't tell! Even though the food plan went out the window I tried to stay on track with the exercise. I spent the holiday weekend in upstate New York and went on two long walks with my sister-in-laws (uphill both ways!). About three months ago, Mary Jean took us on this walk and I was sore and so tired I could not do the walk the next day. NOT THIS TIME! It was much easier... I even jogged the last portion! One of my sister-in-laws Jennifer was dying on this walk... what a complainer (luv u Jen)!

Jen's complaints (in the first 15 minutes):
my eyes are sweating
my balls hurt (of feet )
my legs are shorter then everyone else
I hate your guts (is this a complaint?)
I'm sucking wind

I told all my sisters that Cynthia wants me to do a 5k in September and that I was uncertain. They are all very encouraging and all want to run it with me! Does this mean I should start training... can I take one more thing on? I already work out 6 days a week, is this additional workouts? If I run instead of going to a ride or step class will I push myself, if not will I keep losing weight? Wow... I am getting pretty deep here, time to change the subject!

With all the jokes aside, Jen did a great job I am very proud! I wish we could all walk together every day! I love my girls... thanks for all the support!

Ride

I love the ride class at Global Fitness, one of the best instructors is Mary O. I was attending her Friday morning classes, but they started to conflict with my personal training sessions with Cynthia. This Friday I met Cynthia early, so I was able to make Mary's class 10:30 class. Mary has been a great help with my weight loss, she pushes you in class and makes the work out worth your time. This class happened to be Mary's last for the summer, and she held a drawing for a gift bag. Guess who won... Dovie of course. I won a Ride with Mary shirt, which she wants me to wear to Cynthia's next ride class to make her jealous (I am all for that)! Thank You Mary! I can't wait to see you in the fall... will you recognize me?

Friday's work out with Cynthia was again very difficult... she had those crazy boot camp eyes. Before we started, I told her my chest was sore from Wednesday's work out... her reply, "too bad." She had me running up stairs (every other stair) and lunging and lunging and more lunges! Of course we worked on chest and push ups, and much more. When we got to the last 10 minutes of the hour, it was core time. And, we did something different, side plank rotation (?), and when Cynthia showed me I walked away thinking there is no way I can do this. But, I could do it and I did it. After getting into the side plank, I rotated around to the other arm... back and forth 10 times. Picture came out a little blurry... but here I am after my two work outs wearing my new Ride with Mary shirt. I look pretty good considering.

Mean Face

I have never been one to hold back my feelings or tongue and especially the facial expressions that come along for the ride. Well, I knew this would someday come back to haunt me, figured I would just get fired from a job someday, but it seems to be affecting my workouts (ha). Cynthia has mentioned I have some really nasty looks, and I guess I shoot them to her throughout the whole hour. Well, yesterday she kept saying, "that look bounces off me."

In general yesterday's work out was the normal beat down, but it was extremely hot and humid in the gym and I was just dripping. It was an interesting work out because we never used any of the machines. Usually Cynthia integrates something, but this time we stayed in the stretch area and it seemed like I was always on a ball or the Bosu with free weights. She loves to concentrate on my core, or add core to another muscle group we are working. I keep telling her I don't have a core, just a roll of fat.

I have officially decided to try to get better at push-ups, they are just sooooo hard.

Ann Taylor

I had a really hard week, I was up two pounds and all the crying (which feels stupid now). I almost feel bi-polar with all the ups and downs, because I am now on cloud nine. I went to the mall and went into Ann Taylor. I have never been in this store, never fit into anything, why would I? I found a few dresses size 14 and was pressured to try them on. All of the dresses fit... it wasn't a fluke, ALL of the dresses fit! I was in the dressing room almost in tears. I bought my first purchase from Ann Taylor and it fit!

Week 5... I think

I haven't been very good about blogging... sorry (like anyone is reading, ha).

It has been a few weeks, and I have lost a total of 25 lbs since March! 25 lbs just doesn't seem like the right amount, because my body has totally changed. I feel muscle and can see some slight definition on my arms and legs. I still look in the mirror and see fat though :( I know things are changing and happening... just seems so slow! I know I have lost more inches then pounds, but it is all so slow.

Yesterday, Cynthia kicked my ass... officially made me crumble! Every Wednesday and Friday I get butterflies a couple of hours before our meeting time... I figured it would get better or I would get over the anxiety, but after yesterday I fully understand the anxiety. I am really scared about going tomorrow.

We started out on some leg machines, nothing too horrible, then Cynthia's favorite lunges and squats, lunges and squats. Then I believe she went into boot camp mode, with crazy eyes... I ended up doing 10 sets of push ups with rows, kickbacks, curls, it is all a blur now!

After the hour was up... I went to my car and cried. I now know why the contestants on Biggest Loser cry in the gym.

My Diet... lifestyle change?

Cynthia wants me to try eating every three hours, protein with fruit, veggie and/or whole grains. This plan is inspired by the book The Eat Clean Diet. The success of this diet is being prepared and packing lunch and snacks. So far it is going good, hard work... pain in the ass to get ready the night before, but my body is happy. My muscles are not as sore, honestly not sure if the food is helping with that or if I am just getting use to the workouts (hahahha).

Day 2 StairMaster from Hell

Two days later... not even 48 hours later I am back at the gym waiting for Cynthia. My body not fully recovered from my last workout. We started out the same way... 10 lb ball lunges and twists... the rest is a blurrrrr. Cynthia had me get on to the stairmill! Can't believe I actully did it, seven whole minutes on the beast.

Day 1

I was very scared, but excited and looking forward to my first day. I walked into the gym about five minutes early and thought to myself... will I get in trouble if I sit at the juice bar and wait? So I jumped onto the treadmill and walked very slowly, I didn't want to exert myself because I knew there was a tsunami coming.

We started out with a 10 lb ball and I had to lift it over my head (on my toes) then squat down with my butt out... 15 times. Then a band around my ankles and butt out again squat and walk sideways. And repeat!

We then moved to the equipment, leg press and curl machines... 15 times each. I then had to do lunges with the 10 lb ball and twist toward the forward leg... up and down the length of the gym... then repeat, two sets.

Am I done yet?

Cynthia then takes me out side to use the TRX... this was a little scary I felt like my chubbiness would pull the TRX right out of the wall. But I had to do what seemed like pull up then push up for 30 seconds... and of course repeat!

About this time I was looking at my watch and thinking... is this almost over... am I about to die. But, no we were not done, not even close.

It was times for arms. I am not sure what this machine is called, but I pulled from the floor to over my head, 15 times each arm. Then shoulders pull down (thingy) then bicep curls 12 lbs, triceps over the head with 8 lbs each... and repeat.

Cynthia... now am I done? NO!

Core time, sit up and push ups... and repeat! Now I am done. I sweat so much, I wasn't sure if one shower would be good enough, ha ha.

Cynthia Baker

Making the decision to hire a trainer was a big one... mostly because of the money. Thanks to my tax refund, it was a little easier. After talking to the fitness director Julie (at Global Fittness, Stow MA), and making some observations I knew I wanted Cynthia Baker. I have taken her ride (spin) classes on Tuesday nights, and she really pushes you in class (I need someone who will push me, a gentle push please). Cynthia always has time for questions before or after class and over all is very professional and nice. She is very fit and doesn't give that intimidating feeling. Also, when looking at the "trainer" wall of fame, Cynthia has the most credentials (I want the best for my money). But, the main reason is I saw her working out... she was doing crazy stuff to herself on the bosu. When seeing this I thought to myself I wish I could work out with her, that made a bell go off in my head... good idea Dove... maybe you should get a trainer.

My Life Change

I have been overweight for most of my life... just a little chubby I would say. I have been on Weight Watchers and many other diets, I was able to drop about 20 lbs here and there. It has been a year since my biggest loss of 30 lbs, but I gained back 12 (not bad). I am pretty good about going to the gym, three times a week... just to maintain my chubbiness. Now I have really gotten serious. With my Weight Watchers tracker in hand I began to work out 5 to 6 times a week, sometimes going twice a day (cardio). I have managed to drop 15 lbs in 10 weeks and get under 200... 198 to be exact... go Dovie, go Dovie!!!

My plan was to take several different classes; 1. because I will not stay on a treadmill or elliptical for a full hour, get board or give up, and 2. because I do not push myself when on my own. My first love is the group ride class and that was my main class, gradually I moved on to step and kick classes. The hardest class is step, not the actual cardio of it... just getting the damn steps!

I wanted to make the most of my time at the gym and knew I was missing the strength training. Could I do this on my own? There are plenty of sites with directions and encouragement... but I know myself... pure lazy... so no way. I need that push!